me, my wild, my will

you must wake me up as we speak,
This slumber, calmness and destruction both do they seek,
Of all the gloom, the deepest darkest days
The cruel and coldest even in the summer of may.

The room seems to be full and closed
But it opens for those who know
Just think before you decide to knock
once in , theres no turning back

As I come up the alley do i see
those dead looking alive or is it me
for they dont mind my eyes , my groove
They continue picking up apples as they move

Thers that feelin I get when i look towards my nest
that my souls all alone waiting
For me to get home , to where i belong
and all my sufferings to stop.

The night winds come and go, thro the skin to the brow,
the sharpness in their bite lets me know.
People think Im a ghost, for I was all in black
They let me know without doubt the pureness I now lack

I stand in line and continue to wait
For someone to lead me to reason and light
I dont want to be left behind to reek
So you must wake me up as we speak.

when memories kill

It was the coldest day in december,
when I stared at the void and wondered.
as i cry these lonely nights,
remembering promises broken with fury and might.

am i to smile hiding behind these tears,
not to show you my deepest despair.
dont you know its not that simple,
for someone like me who is so temperamental.

you put trust in this untrusting heart,
and now you want to tear it all apart.
mebbe its a way puttin my friendship thro knife,
toyin with the idea of takin my life.

i only exist now ,long stopped living
just like your love that stopped giving
i wish thers an end to this pain
my soul can no longer take this suffering

when u find a decayed cadaver reek
worms and maggots eating someone u used to speak
i hope u realise u could have just let me be
instead it was your memories that killed me.